


Missing

by SwordsandShields99



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 09:34:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24348823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SwordsandShields99/pseuds/SwordsandShields99
Summary: The Normandy crashes, leaving the team stranded. But he has to get back to her. Somehow.After ME3. FemShep/Garrus Romance.Let me know what you think :)
Relationships: Female Shepard/Garrus Vakarian
Kudos: 13





	1. Hurt

Garrus was coming in and out of consciousness. He was in the med bay, but each time he tried to wake and move, he would slip back into unconsciousness. Suddenly, he felt his body being thrown from the medbay bed. He jolted awake. He would have screamed if his breath hadn't been forced from his lungs, as the pain from his burnt flesh hitting the floor and the pain in his right side and leg was overwhelming.   
  
"Garrus!" he heard Chakwas shout out, "Garrus!" She reached out for him, trying to get him back on the bed. "We've crashed. Are you alright? Can you speak?"

"Yes," he choked out as he hobbled back over to the bed.

"Your leg is fractured pretty badly, I'll use cybernetic implants to reposition your spur. I'm still working on the burns. I won't lie to you, they're pretty bad." 

"We've... crashed?" 

"Just lie still, there's nothing you can do. Rest. I'll go check in with Joker."

As soon as Garrus lied back he passed out from the pain.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------

Garrus woke slowly, his eyes feeling heavy. He tried to take a deep breath, and started coughing instantly.

"Easy there, your lungs were damaged from the fire from the explosion you were caught in. With a few breathing treatments you'll be good as new, but it will take time."

"Dr. Chakwas... what's going on?" he said, his tongue feeling thick and his throat too dry.

"When the citadel... did whatever it did, it sent a shockwave of energy. We were able to escape with our lives, but we've crash-landed on an unknown planet. Whatever that wave of energy was, it has disabled communications. All of our more advanced systems short-circuited and need to be repaired. And... Edi... is not functioning." 

"Shepard?" he asked softly, still not looking Chakwas in the eye.

"No word. Communications are down. No word from anything off this planet, Garrus. We're stranded for now. Crews have been working around the clock since we landed. 34 hours ago." Garrus went to stand. "Where do you think you're going? You have a fractured leg, and from what I hear broken spurs are extremely painful to walk on." 

He looked down at his spur. It was still raw from the cybernetic surgery and burns. His leg had a long scar running up the length. "That scar won't be there for long, your femur was broken, but right as rain now. You shouldn't have any pain. The burns are another matter entirely. I don't have everything I need to completely heal that, as burns are more complicated and risky. We'll need to keep a close eye on you for infection, but I can definitely keep the pain managed for you."

From what Garrus could tell, the metal of his armor had practically melted to his skin. The scarring supported his original theory, scars running down his right side that now blended into the old ones on his neck. 

"I need to help the crew. I have tech skills that are useful. Do you have something I can use as support?" 

Chakwas eyed him carefully. "Garrus, you can't over do it. If you damage yourself further, I'll need to use medical supplies on you that should be rationed given our present condition. Do you understand?" Garrus nodded. "Alright then, here." She handed him a crutch, and he stood up slowly. He hissed as he felt a shooting pain run up from his spur all the way to his spine. "Wait," Chakwas said as she brought over some bandages and more bracing. "We'll need to better support that spur if you're going to be mobile." 

\--------------------------------------------------------------

Garrus entered the bridge to find Joker in his seat furiously pressing buttons, and Tali half inside a wall working on some wires. "Anything?" the Quarian called out. 

"Nothing, try the next one," Joker called back. Garrus saw he as modifying their communications. Suddenly, one of the channels sparked to life. "Tali, that one!" Joker called out excitedly. 

She shot out of the panel exitedly, "Really?!" 

"Yup, looks like it's just a generic transmission channel, but it's something. I think I can clean it up a bit." 

Garrus had stood silently in the doorway, but he could no longer stand, and he grunted the pain in his side flared up.

"Garrus!" Tali said in an excited tone, "We were so worried about you!" She rushed over and helped him into a seat. 

"Thanks," he said in a gruff voice. His throat and lungs burned. 

"It's good to see you Garrus," Joker said in a more serious tone than Garrus had been expecting. "Thought we lost ya there for a bit. If someone could pull you off the field, you must have been in rough shape." 

Garrus looked away and nodded. 

Joker turned back to the controls. "Alright, let's clean this up, see if we can at least hear. Then, the next step is trying to radio out." Joker played with the controls for a moment, and the message started to become more clear. "I'm starting to get more... it sounds like a looped emergency message."

Within a few more seconds, the message was coming in clearer, and they could hear bits and pieces.

_'Emergency Channel... *shfshhhhssssdfsdsssssssssssssdfs* eapers *Sshfhsfsdf* defeated.. *shfidusfsfafd* Relays down *Sdfhosdfs* Alliance *schisschhhhhsdofsdf* Commander *sdfsafsfhasdkfl* repairs *Sfisofhsf* more to *dsfkhsdf*'_

"There's so much interference," Joker said in an annoyed tone as he continued to adjust the settings on his screen.

' _This is an Emergency Channel, with a repeated message. The Repears have *sshhfhds* defeated. *shfdfshfs* Relays down. *Sdfdhsf* Alliance is attempting to repair the *Sdhfsfds* relay. It is believed that Commander Sh *Sdfhskdfhsdl* royed the Reapers and she is *Ssdhfdhfsfh* *Ssshhhchdfkalfhlsd* repairs. More to follow on this channel. This is an emergency channel.'_

Garrus was hardly breathing. Shepard destroyed the Reapers and what?

Tali pointed towards something on Joker's station and he altered the setting she had motioned towards. 

' _Alliance is attempting to repair the Sol relay. It is believed that Commander Shepard destroyed the Reaper technology, killing the Reapers, but also affecting other systems, and she is now believed to be KIA. *shfsdfsdfshh* repairs. More to follow on this channel.'_

Garrus felt the air leave his lungs, and felt the raw burn when he breathed in again. He felt the shooting and agonizing pain in his leg as he stood. Felt the world spin as he walked out of the cock pit, and vaguely heard Tali calling after him. He felt the impossibly slow motion as the elevator carried him upwards. He felt the rush of cooler air hit his face when the cabin doors opened. He heard the tiniest 'meep' from the hamster as he walked by. He felt the mattress shift as he ungracefully sat on the bed, his leg giving out on the way down. He heard Joker come over the comms to announce that the comms had been fixed. He heard him speak of the transmission and he heard the message being played over the comms once. He felt the heaviness and silence of the ship once the message stopped. He heard his heart pounding, going much faster than normal. One thing he couldn't feel, couldn't hear, was his soul. It felt like it had left his body. As if he had died and all that was left was a shell. 

He sat on the bed for hours, un-moving. He noticed the pain of the burns on his flesh begin to become more noticeable, slowly. It was almost an unbareable pain. It was as if the fire was still on his skin, as if the metal from his armor was still melted to his body, burning him. He saw Dr. Chakwas lean in front of him. He hadn't heard her come in.

She gently placed her hand on his knee, and injected something into his arm. He felt a cool relief almost instantly. "You didn't come back for your appointment," she said softly. "Your burns are some of the worst I've ever seen, Garrus. It must be painful." 

He continued starring at her, unmoving. She took out another injection, this time on his neck. He instantly felt tired, felt himself falling asleep. Karin lowered him back carefully onto the bed, and arranged his legs carefully. "I'll come check on you soon," he heard her say before he lost consciousness.

\---------------------------------------------------------

"Garrus," Chakwas said softly. He opened his eyes to see the Doctor re-bandaging his spur. "Are you awake?" she asked.

"Yes," he choked out. 

"You need a breathing treatment, or your lungs will begin to deteriorate. Here, take this and breathe in." He did as he was told silently, breathing in the medicinal vapors through a tube. "10 minutes," Chakwas said as she sat on the edge of the bed. She slowly unpeeled the bandages on his side, and began to apply burn ointments before placing clean bandages over the wounds. "Actually, the rocket to your face was worse. I'm not sure how you survived that."

"No," he said softly. "This is worse." 

She stopped moving, holding the last bandage in her lap. "You're right," she said softly. 

He heard the door open and saw Liara walk in.

"Keep breathing," Chakwas said firmly, and Garrus did as he was told. 

"Garrus," Liara said quietly as she approached the bed. "I'm... I'm so sorry," she said, her voice shaking with emotion. She took a deep breath, squaring her shoulders. "I made a promise, and I'm here to keep it."

He looked up at her slowly, unsure. He couldn't think about this. Shepard wasn't dead. She couldn't be. Believed to be KIA doesn't mean they found her. She had escaped death before. And he wouldn't believe she was dead until he saw the body. He just couldn't... couldn't give up on her. 

"Shepard, she made me promise to give this to you if she... if she didn't make it. And she said it was imperative to give it to you as soon as I found out. She said you had to see it right away." 

"She's not dead," he said gruffly over the breathing tube. 

"Liara, this isn't the best time," Chakwas started.

"I made a promise!" Liara nearly shouted. "I made a promise," she whispered. "It's the only thing I can do for her now." She handed the data pad to Garrus. "Please Garrus, I promised," she said, tears rolling down her cheeks. He nodded at her, and she practically ran out the door. 


	2. Message

Chakwas stood from the bed slowly. 

"I'm right outside that door, Garrus." She took a slow breath. "You're not alone." She walked out of Shepard's cabin, and he felt the weight of the datapad in his hand.

Maybe Shepard had given him secret coordinates. He would meet her somewhere warm and tropical, where no one could find them. The galaxy would think they were dead, and they would live out the rest of their days in peace. _'Maybe find out what a Turian-human baby looks like,'_ he heard his own voice say in his memories. Spirits, he already missed her. 

He clicked on the screen, and saw a video file. He took a deep breath and clicked on it. He saw Shepard's face, but the loft was dark behind her. He could make out his own sleeping body on the bed behind her. He stared at her face for a moment, took another breath, and then pressed play.

_"Hey there big guy," she smiled. "If you're watching this... then..." she took a deep breath as her voice choked," then I am so sorry, Garrus. I'm so, so sorry." Already, a fat tear rolled down her cheek. "I'm terrified Garrus, because I know that you'll either be by my side, or I'll have lost you already, or you were injured so bad that I made it to the end alone. Or maybe I'll die before I get there, who knows. But none of those are great for you. I want you to live, Garrus. God, I want you to live so bad. I'd do anything to make sure that happens, anything," she said, breathing heavily. She covered her eyes with her hand, trying to get a hold of herself. "I have a feeling that I'm not gonna make it buddy. And I'm scared that since you're always at my six... I don't want that for you, Garrus. So if I don't make it, I pray to God you get this message. Because you need to know, that you don't need to die Garrus, even if I do. If you're alive and I'm not, that doesn't mean you've failed. I know how you think, remember?_

_"You always believed that you failed at C-sec, that you failed at Omega, and I have a feeling you'll see this as a failure too, but let me set you straight right now. You didn't fail as an officer, you became more than an officer. You outgrew C-sec Garrus. You didn't fail at Omega, you became more there. And you didn't fail now. Let me tell you now, that no one could support me and love me the way you do and have failed. I would be dead already if it wasn't for you._

_"After Omega, I started keeping track," she laughed. "You don't know this, but since you joined me after Omega, I started keeping track of all the times you saved my life." She flipped on her omni-tool, "108, Garrus. That's not even including any of the time we spent tracking down Saren. And I didn't count the little shit either. I didn't count the times where a brute was charging me and I would have taken a bad hit, but lived. We both know things like that would have hurt like hell, but I would have been pissed and I could've won. No, I only counted the times where honest to god I would have died right then and there. For example, #68, the time you pushed me out of the way of a bullet that would have went right through my skull, but it hit your armor and carapace instead. We both knew that would have been a head shot. I would have died, instantly. But there are other times too. One you don't even know about. #1 actually." She took a deep breath. "Before I found you on Omega Garrus, I was lost. My squad had gone their separate ways, and I woke up in a Cerberus lab. I had been dead for two years. I... died. I could remember dying. Had panic attacks almost every day. Could hardly sleep. And fucking Cerberus, Garrus. The worst of the worst. I wasn't even sure if I was me? It all felt so wrong. And then there you were. So right. I had wanted to end it all, and then there you were, believing in me. Garrus, I was going to end it, one way or another. I couldn't take it. You having my six saved my life. That day, and every day after. Every day since we met, really._

_"What we have is real, and it will last. And if I live, I want you to know that I'm done with the military. I'm done with everything. If I live, I'll retire. If I live, I'll follow you anywhere. You and me, buddy. If you'll have me along, you'll never need to choose between me and your duty or your family or anything else. Where you go, I go. I'm fucking done, but I don't think you are. You've got so much more left, I think. I heard a rumor that you're a little higher up the line of hierarchy than you'd like to be. So if you go to Palavan... I hope you take me with you. Hell, I know you'd be better off if you left me behind. If you found a nice Turian girl to continue that Vakarian line. But you know me Garrus, I like to bend the rules, and so do you." She grinned at the camera, "Hell, I know you'll have me along. You're crazy about me," she laughed. But the smile faded._

_"And if I don't live... If I don't make it... there's still a lot of life left to live. And in your own time, I hope you find that nice girl. Garrus, if our places were switched, if you died, I don't think I could make it. God," she choked back a sob, " but you have to for me, ok? You deserve happiness Garrus. You do!" She took a breath, and glanced behind her at the sleeping Turian in the bed. "Sorry," she said to him as he mumbled, and she rubbed his back softly._

_"I know you don't want to be a leader," she said softly. "But no great leader longs for the type of responsibility you might be facing. Anyone who does is power hungry or naive and stupid. But that's one more reason why I know you are born to lead. You care, and put others ahead of yourself. You're brilliant and patient and strong. Your people need someone like you. But listen, you deserve happiness. So if you will be miserable the rest of your life, fuck everyone else. You've done enough, Garrus. You've sacrificed enough. Find happiness. But if you can't find it in yourself to say fuck it, give it 100%. Don't fight it, and be miserable. Give 100% and be proud, change what needs to be changed and strengthen what needs to be strengthen. Either way Garrus, I'm proud of you."_

_She sighed, and gently touched the Turian's hand as he slept. "I need you to do something for me. I've started a scholarship fund for the orphaned Batarians from the Bahak system, and also a few children's homes for them. It has been completely anonymous because... well obviously because I am hated and they wouldn't except it from me. I need the money from my savings to go to that fund and the homes. It's a lot of money, Garrus, so it matters. Don't let it go to some Alliance propaganda fund. Liara knows about this and helped me set everything up. Talk to her, and make sure the money from my N7 and Alliance accounts go towards that. Tell her she has full control over the accounts and to put a little extra towards Eli's house. She'll know what that means. I have another account Garrus, I'll place the file on this datapad that has the account info. That all goes to you. Take it, and use it to give yourself some time to recover from this war. Spend time with your family. Any of my possessions are yours as well, although we both know I don't have much. Military life, right?_

_"And Garrus, that is all I am asking of you. You don't need to do anything else. No selfless actions in my honor, no missions to make me proud, no life-decisions based on how I would feel. I know that you love me. I know that you're going to struggle. And I'm not asking you not to feel. I'm asking you to grieve. To let our friends help you, and try to help them too. And to move on and find peace and happiness for yourself. Because that's the only thing my heart truly wants. I love you more than I can say. And if I live, and if you'll let me, I'll spend the rest of my life trying to show you how I feel... trying to give you all you've given me... trying to make sure you know just how much you are loved and adored." She stopped, her shoulders shaking, and wiped a few tears. "And if you get this, and I don't get that chance, at least you can hear it this one time. You're a good man. Thank you for everything, Garrus Vakarian." She starred at the man behind her and smiled. She looked back at the camera. "Good bye," she said softly._

He remembered waking up to her voice, her hands on his carapace roaming up to his neck as she planted kisses all over his body. He remembered her being so passionate, writhing beneath him as she called out his name. Collapsing on top of him after their release, breathing heavily, kissing his carapace. He remembered pressing his forehead to hers, his subharmonics buzzing with his love and adoration for her. He had no idea that she had just been leaving him a message for the future. The hell he was currently living in. He grabbed at his face-plates with his hands in agony, his subharmonics screaming in unbelievable pain. He was thankful there weren't any other Turians on board, or cybernetically enhanced humans such as Shepard that could hear him now. He had no idea how to survive now. His chest felt like it was gaping open. No one should be able to survive this type of pain. It was cruel. "No," he ground out through clenched teeth. "I'm not giving up on you Shepard." 

He stood up grabbing the crutch and grunting through the pain. He was going to fix this god damned ship and they were going back to Earth to find her. 


	3. Memorials and Futures

Garrus stood silently as each of the crew stepped forward, one by one to pay their respects to EDI. 

_'Garrus, I want to put EDI's name on the wall. She deserves it,'_ Joker had told him a few hours earlier. _'And I think Commander Shepard's name should go in the middle, next to Captain Anderson's. She deserves that.'_

Garrus knew the crew believed she was dead. But he just couldn't. Not yet. And now that Joker had put EDI's name on the wall, they all looked at him, expecting him to start Jane's portion of the memorial. When he said nothing, Liara stepped forward. 

"I have been thinking about all of the people we were before Commander Shepard. I was a naive scholar, stuck in a trap for days. Before Jane, I didn't know war. I didn't know difficult choices. Since Jane, I have become a warrior. Since Jane, I have become a Shadow Broker. Since Jane, I have grown into a person I can be proud of. And I think everyone here can say the same. Tali, you were on your pilgrimage, just a kid looking for something to bring home. Think about all you are now, a fleet admiral. Wrex was just a merc, and now he is the leader of his entire people. Joker was just a sassy pilot and now... well he's just a sassy pilot but we all love him." Everyone gave a small, strained chuckle. "Garrus was a C-Sec officer just trying to find his place, and now he's an advisor to his people and Primarch, and a trusted liaison. Every single one of us is a better person, a better individual thanks to Commander Shepard. The universe is not just a better place because of her, it is still standing because of her. More than that, more than what she gave us.... she was a fierce and loyal friend. And I'll miss her." 

Liara spoke with elegance. She really had changed. And she was right, all of them had changed and grown into better people because of Jane. She looked towards Joker, but he shook his head. "I think you covered it," he said, his voice sounding choppy. Joker stepped closer to Garrus and handed him a name plate. Garrus looked down at it, the white letters stark and bold, 'Commander Shepard'. He gingerly grazed his fingers over the name. His Commander. His girl. His throat closed as he took a step forward. Maybe the crew needed this closure to move forward, to be able to cope. But it felt like each step he took was betrayal to the woman he loved. He felt it in his gut. She was still alive. 

He looked up at the wall, his mandibles spread into a smile. "I know you all expect me to put this name on the wall. But I haven't forgotten how after 2 years thinking she was dead, she walked back into our lives. So I can't put this up. Not yet. Not until we know for sure."

He expected to hear grumbles, for people to tell him that he was grieving and in denial. "I'm with scars," he heard Vega say clearly. "That name shouldn't go on the wall until we're back on Earth and know for sure."

"Yeah, alright," Joker said. Joker looked at Garrus, squaring his shoulders. "Let's go to Earth. Orders?" 

Garrus looked at the name plate, waiting for someone to answer. When no one did, he looked up to see everyone watching him. They were waiting for his orders? Everyone knew he was Shepard's second in command. But he hadn't been sure where he stood now. Well... now he did. "Joker, get back to that cock pit and keep working on communications. I'll send a couple of people your way later, but for now get started solo because we need Tali in engineering. Tali, take whoever you need and start working on primary systems only. Alenko, get a biotics team together to start moving large parts of the ship and putting the old girl back together. Vega, we need to take inventory of... well pretty much everything. Start with life support and rations, then move on to weapons. Give me a report as soon as you have one. Liara, we need to check on each member of the crew. Work with Dr. Chakwas, and assess their physical and mental state. After gathering that info, come up to the CIC, and we can work on creating rotating work schedules. I'll be in the CIC. You know Joker and Tali got local comms back up, so bring any issues to me ASAP." He gave orders quickly, and everyone jumped into action. 

By the time Liara and Dr. Chakwas had made their way up to the CIC, Garrus had gotten a spot set up to work from. Dr. Chakwas squinted at him. "What?" he asked.

She pulled out an injection from her coat pocket and said, "You can't lead efficiently if you're in agonizing pain, you know. You need to be in my office in exactly one hour for a breathing treatment, got it?" He nodded and she walked away. 

He felt a cooling relief flood through is skin and took a shallow breath. Once he and Liara were finished with rotations schedules, he sent her to work with Kaidan. He tried to focus on getting the console in front of him up and running, but after 30 minutes he felt drained. The pain was already back in full force from the burns, and his mind felt fuzzy. He hobbled over to the elevator and pressed the button to go up to the loft. He could hardly stay standing in the elevator, the pain from his leg screaming through his spine and skull. He hardly made it the bed before collapsing. 

\--------------------------------------------------------

Garrus came-to slowly. He could tell he wasn't in the loft, but he wasn't sure where he was. He heard Dr. Chakwas scolding him already.

"... infected. We could loose you, and what good will you do us then? I swear, you're just as bad as she is. These burns could still kill you, Garrus. Your spur is barely hanging on by thread, and I told you a breathing treatment in an hour, not make me drag your ass down here myself." 

"Sorry, doc," he choked out.

"Ah, you're awake. Good." He felt a stinging sensation in his arm. "Now go back to sleep, you fool." 

\---------------------------------------------------------

Garrus hobbled back to the CIC after a day in the medbay. Dr. Chakwas warned him that his burns were infected and he'd be spending the next few nights in the medbay, but he had managed to get her to agree to letting him leave for a few hours at a time to get the ship underway. 

"Hey boss, we've finished inventory," Vega said as he practically ran in. "All personal fire arms are accounted for, and ready to go. Crazy, none of those were damaged. I'm sure you can guess our ships weapons didn't fare the same and we're finding specifics to report to you now. I told the team you'd want to look after that project personally." Garrus grunted an affirmative. "We've got enough Levo rations to last us about 2 months, and enough dextro rations to last about 2 weeks. The planet is Levo friendly, so we better get this frigate moving sooner rather than later."

"Two weeks?" Garrus asked in surprise. 

"Yes sir, we were scheduled to get more dextro rations in 24 hours when the Reapers brought the citadel to Earth. It was shit timing." 

Garrus almost laughed at Vega calling him sir instead of scars, but he knew the crew needed a leader. They needed a chain of command. They needed normalcy. 

"Alright, let's schedule a meeting before shift rotations for all team leaders, and try and figure out a timeline for repairs, take off, and travel time to Earth. Why don't you call Kaidan, Liara, Tali, and Joker to join us in the war room." 

Vega saluted and ran out. Garrus grunted as he eased himself off the chair he had grabbed for CIC and hopped once to grab his crutch. He tried putting a minimal amount of weight down on his leg and nearly fell over. "Shit," he grumbled. He hopped the rest of the way to the war room and the others trickled in one by one.

"Alright, after taking inventory it looks like we've got enough dextro rations for about 2 weeks, and levo rations for 2 months. We need a solid timeline here. Major, how are repairs to the hull going?" 

"Slow but sure. The Normandy's outer hull is surprisingly in tact."

"Of course she is," Joker said quickly. "I landed her. She's as in tact as she can be."

Alenko rolled his eyes. "Once we're done with outer repairs, we'll need a biotic team to clear the surrounding trees for take off, and another biotic team should focus on heavy lifting inside the ship. We should be done with the outer hull by tomorrow, especially if we get one or two more people one welding."

"Good," Garrus said, rolling his head to stretch his neck. "Liara, pick a couple more people to add to Alenko's team. Vega, I want you in charge of security detail once we get a team outside for clearing. A small team should do it. We haven't picked up any threats nearby, but I don't want to be taken by surprise, especially with all of our tech acting up. Don't want to miss anything. Joker, what do you need for communications?"

"Well, it turns out local comms was an easy fix compared to what I'm looking at now. Honestly, I'm in over my head. I could use another pair of eyes more familiar with those systems." 

"I can help, I've picked up a thing or two recently, and I'm sure Jack can pick up a little extra of the biotic work," Liara said quickly. 

"Great, thanks," Joker said with a nod. 

"Ok, and give me a little more info once you've taken a look Liara. Alright Tali, how are we looking?" 

"Well Garrus, not great. Every major system is fried. We're having to make some parts from scratch. We can do it, but it's time consuming. Other systems just need a jump start and we'll be good to go. Thankfully, it looks like mostly electrical shorts, not damaged equipment, and we had plenty of extra wiring available. Based on our work today, it will take us about 2 weeks to complete essential repairs, and that's essential to getting off the ground, not comfort." 

"What if you had more people? If we get the biotic teams finishing their work on the hull and they join you?" Garrus said feeling nervous.

"Hmm... yes, that could help quite a bit. We could cut a few days off, for sure," she said thoughtfully.  
  
"Alenko, I need the outer hull finished. Let me worry about clearing our surroundings. As soon as the outer hull is complete join Tali's team."

"Aye aye," Alenko said quickly.

"Let me guess, you're going to blast your way out, Scars?" Vega laughed.

"Hey, if it works it works," Garrus said with a small grin.

They were all being so formal. Garrus could feel the tension. This was turning into a life or death situation. "Hey, we've been through worse," Garrus said in a softer tone. "We were lead by the best, and we've turned into the best team there is. We'll get out of this just like we have gotten out of every other mess. So work your assess off like always, and we'll be out of here in no time. Dismissed." Everyone jumped up and started leaving the room. "Tali, can you stay for a minute?" he asked. She nodded and waited. "I don't think I can make it to the medbay... can you help me out?" 

"Is it your leg?" she said approaching him with concern. 

"Yeah," he said softly. _'Let our friends help you,'_ he could hear Shepard saying in his head. He didn't like it, but his CO gave him and order. Tali hoisted his arm over her shoulder and together they slowly made it to the med bay. 

"Set him there, Tali. Thank you," Karin said. "I've got it from here." Tali nodded, gave Garrus' hand a squeeze and walked out. 

"Let me look at the leg," Karin said, already unwrapping the bandages. Garrus hissed as he felt the bone shift from a lack of support, and gasped when he saw his bare leg. It was incredibly swollen, which might be normal for humans with an injury but not for Turians. 

"What... why does it look like that?" he said in a gasp.

"The bone isn't setting right, and the implant in your spur isn't integrating as nicely as I'd like. I did what I could in the moment, but you need surgery. If we leave it, you might loose the leg. It's worse than I thought, Garrus." She unwrapped the bandages from his side and neck." And your skin is still infected. I'm giving your more antibiotics, and you'll be getting fluids overnight. Once your fever is down, we'll talk about surgery. Hopefully by tomorrow night." 

He just nodded and laid back. He felt so tired. So worn-out. But he needed to get better fast. For the crew. For _her_. She handed him the tube for a breathing treatment, and he tried inhaling deeply as she set to work on medicating and re-bandaging. 

\------------------------------------------

Karin dimmed the lights and fell asleep quickly in her make-shift cot. Garrus pulled out the datapad with Shepard's recording. He couldn't bring himself to watch the vid again, as much as he wanted to. As much as he wanted to see her face and hear her voice. He wanted to save that for when it was in person again. He saw a few extra files, and clicked on the first one.

 _Garrus' Account  
  
__Primary Account Holder: Jane Shepard_  
_Secondary Account Holder/Beneficiary:_ Garrus Vakarian   
_$800,000 credits.  
Account #345-21114-543643.242  
Citadel Credit Union  
  
_

Garrus' mandible dropped open. $800,000 credits?! That was more money than he had ever seen. And she had put his name on the account, not just as a beneficiary. Spirits.

_Jane Shepard - Savings Account  
_ _Primary Account Holder: Jane Shepard, Alliance Military - Title: Commander  
$1,107,340 Credits  
Account #456-6667-8521  
Alliance International Bank  
  
Jane Shepard - Savings Account  
Primary Account Holder: Jane Shepard, Alliance Military - Spec Ops - N7  
$908,446 Credits  
Account #-------401  
Alliance International Bank  
_

Garrus nearly fell out of his cot. He had no idea she had so much money. For an orphan from a farming colony, she sure had come far. He remembered she had said the Alliance had returned all the money to her account after her death, and had given her severance. They put her back on the payroll while she was incarcerated, although the pay had been minimal. Life of the military. Get a pay check, but never use it. No home, no family, room and board paid for, 3 meals a day paid for. And she was a lifer. She had saved every credit since she was 18. And if she got bonuses for missions completed successfully, she'd get a bonus for every mission she was ever apart of.

He clicked on another file. The one with the name that sent a dagger of ice through his heart.  


_Corpalis Syndrome:  
_ _  
_ _May 23rd, 2186  
Donor Name: Garrus Vakarian  
Donation: $21,786 Credits  
Corpalis Research Foundation - Patient Division - Room 345  
All remaining medical expenses paid  
  
June 23rd, 2186  
Donor Name: Garrus Vakarian  
Donation: $15,000 Credits  
Corpalis Research Foundation - Research Division - Collector Samples Section  
  
July 23rd, 2186  
Donor Name: Garrus Vakarian  
Donation: $15,000 Credits  
Corpalis Research Foundation - Research Division - Collector Samples Section  
  
August 1st, 2186  
Donor Name: Anonymous  
Donation: $10,000 Credits  
Corpalis Research Foundation - Family Division - Campus Family Housing and Family Support Section  
  
  
Hey there Big Guy,  
If you're seeing this then I'm not around anymore. I wasn't going to tell you. I'm not sure why I'm adding this file to my 'just in case' data pad. Maybe I'm being selfish. Maybe I just want you to know. I've always, always cared. I'm so sorry that you're going through this. I don't know your mom, but I know she raised you. So she must be one hell of a woman.   
  
_

Garrus felt his subharmonics going out of control, but he couldn't stop it if he tried. He had no idea. He had sent every pay check he ever got to his mom's medical expenses, and he knew it didn't cover it, but he had no idea that he had been $21,786 credits short. Thank the spirits for Shepard, or his father would be in debt the rest of his life. 

He clicked on the second to last file. Garrus nearly laughed at the title. This could be boring, or it could be some sex pamphlets.

_Research - Mordin_

_Shepard, here are files you requested. Includes work done together, and bit extra from me. Last experiment successful, very promising. Research indicates, very possible for artificial insemination only with added gene-therapy applications. Constant (and very common) in-utero gene therapy can provide care and ensure safety, correct any abnormalities caused by cross-species combination throughout gestation. Standard in-utero surgeries can aid in bone-plate malformations. Have even experimented with selective gene therapy, can get blue eyes you spoke of with 98.2% accuracy for example. Fetus can be made up to 91.8% single species to aid child development. With your specific implants and a few of my own, capable of sustaining a pregnancy. Your idea of nearly all Turian genes would help child growing up. Physically and emotionally. In short, extremely possible for your future. I'd be happy to help. Ms. Lawson also capable. - Mordin_

_ Fetus Genetic Alteration Experimentation Part 1 and 2 _

_ Turian-Human Genetic Mutation Experimentation 1-12 _

_ Artificial Insemination - Cross Species Experimentation 1-4 _

_ Implant Study: Thesis and Application _

_Garrus, if you're reading this file, then I'm not around to tell you myself. I think you feel the same way I do. I think that if we make it out of this war... well I know I want to be with you, G. For as long as you'll have me. I wanted to see if I could give you everything you deserve. If this type of future was possible for us. Turns out it is. So if you wanted this, we could do it together. Just like everything else. But if you're reading this and I'm not around anymore, make sure this research goes to the right people. Even if we're not lucky enough for this future, after all the cross-species liason work we've done , other couples could benefit from this. For now, it relies on my specific Cerberus implants. Looks like I was made for you, buddy. But maybe it won't with some more research, and there can be lots of Turian-human babies in the future. I'd like that._

Garrus reread Mordin's message 3 times to take it all in. And after he read Shepard's... he couldn't hold it in anymore. He clutched the datapad to his chest, keening, his shoulders shaking and his chest heaving with dry sobs. Spirits, did he want this life with her. He wanted her. Didn't even need Turian-Human babies, but damn did he want them now. He'd give anything, do anything. Spirits, it wasn't fair. She deserved to live. All the things she had done, saved the universe, saved the team. Secretly funded Corpalis research in his name. Paid for the rest of his mother's medical bills without telling a soul. Started a fund for the Batarians without telling a soul. Had Mordin complete ground breaking research so that they could have children together if they had wanted to, and even in her death would make sure others could benefit from it. He clicked on the last file simply named, _Pics,_ and was instantly seeing a full page of pictures of the two of them together. He scrolled through them, his hands shaking. He stared at them for as long as he could keep his eyes open, before eventually falling asleep. 


End file.
